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A Sensual Couples' Massage Ritual

A Sensual Couples' Massage Ritual


By Rose Dalrymple

Using the Sacred + Wild Night Blooms of Lune massage candle together with with the onyx Miracle Massage Mushroom tool in a couples massage can be a beautiful way to promote relaxation, intimacy and bonding.

The candle's base oils of sesame, coconut, olive and hemp are profoundly nourishing and feel like velvet on the skin. When the candle is lit, the wax melts and can be poured onto the skin; the warmth of the oil provides an extra level of relaxation and bliss. Rose geranium and jasmine essential oils create a heady floral scent, along with ylang-ylang, which has long been used as an aphrodisiac! 


Image: Lucas Cerri


Before you start your massage:

  • Prepare a sacred space. Create a tranquil and comfortable environment by lighting candles, placing flowers in the room, or even creating a flower mandala for a relaxing and beautiful ambience. Create a cosy massage spot in a warm room with blankets and pillows, and cover the pillows with a towel in case of oil spills.

  • Make a herbal tonic; my favourite is combining dried rosebuds and vanilla pods in hot water, allowing them to steep. This is beautifully heartwarming and tastes amazing.

  • Other options include a heart-opening hot cacao drink made with raw cacao, cashew or coconut cream, hot water, cinnamon, cayenne and dates, all blended up to make a delicious spicy hot chocolate. The cacao component often associated with feelings of love and happiness is phenylethylamine (PEA). Phenylethylamine is a natural compound found in cacao and is also produced by the brain when we experience feelings of love and attraction. So, drinking cacao means we are literally initiating feelings of love.
  • Begin the massage session with gentle warm-up techniques using your hands to relax and ease the muscles. Key areas of tension are always the shoulders, neck and back; you can't go wrong with focusing the massage to work out knots and tightness and reduce stress overall; you can also encourage open communication throughout so you know where to focus. The receiver of the massage can be in a seated position or lying on their front; make sure your partner is warm and completely comfortable in their chosen position.


Gliding or effleurage is the perfect starting place for a massage. It is simple and effective in creating a sense of comfort, allowing the nervous system to feel safe and your partner to feel held and looked after. It warms the muscles allowing deeper techniques to feel comfortable afterwards. 

  • Place your palms on the area being massaged

  • Glide your palms along the surface of the massaged area, and always remain in contact with the skin. The slower and more connected it is, the more relaxing it feels.

  • Make sure to glide towards the direction of the heart.

  • Once you reach the end of the glide, lift your palms, move back to the starting point and repeat the motion. This can be done several times, slightly increasing the pressure of the palms in the last few cycles.

Circular movements with thumbs and kneading - this technique is great to use once the muscles are warm and allows for deeper pressure.

  • Circle your thumbs across the shoulders and either side of the spine.

  • Try using knuckles in a wave-like motion across larger areas like lower back and hips

Petrissage is a technique that involves lifting and kneading the muscles using a gentle squeeze and release motion.

  • Start by gently holding your partner's muscles between your fingers and thumbs, and then lift and knead the tissue using a gentle squeeze and release motion.

  • Try to make the motion rhythmic and flowing, moving from the body's centre out and back again.

  • Always aim to stay connected to your partner's body; this helps to promote the parasympathetic flow of the nervous system and deeper relaxation.

The mushroom tool is great to introduce once the muscles have been warmed up; it feels very soothing along the shoulder, up the neck, down the muscles on each side of the spine and into the hips. Remember, the slower and more intentional your movements, the more relaxing it will feel.

  • Hold the mushroom, allowing the rounded sides to circle into the muscle; you can be fairly firm with pressure, especially into the shoulders and hips. 

  • Keep the circles smaller over the shoulders, avoiding the bony areas, and flow from the shoulders up the natural curve of the neck and back down to the shoulders.

  • You can follow this connected and rhythmic flow down the back, being mindful not to go over the spine. The muscles running along the spine's side feel nice to be worked along. 

  • When it comes to larger areas like hips and upper leg area, use larger circles. 

  • The rounded side of the mushroom tool can feel amazing, circled into the palm or along the base of the feet.


Encourage open communication between you and your partner throughout the massage. Check-in regularly to ensure they're comfortable and enjoying the massage. Ask them how the pressure feels and if there are any areas they'd like you to focus on more.

Swap to ensure you both get to experience the massage!

Finish with gentle stretches of your partner's muscles to help release any remaining tension. Use slow, deliberate movements to elongate the muscles and promote a sense of openness and relaxation.

Take time to reconnect and cuddle, snuggle, or be present with each other. Reflect on the experience and express appreciation for the opportunity to share this intimate moment together.

Rose has worked for over 20 years as a massage therapist, specialising in Swedish and Thai fusion and pregnancy massage. Rose is also an experienced nutritional therapist, working 1:1 with clients across London, helping to optimise all areas of health and wellbeing. She has a keen interest in supporting couples on their journey with fertility through pregnancy and postpartum, providing diet, lifestyle and stress management support. Rose is a creative cook who loves inspiring people with her vibrant recipes and herbal creations. 

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